Presents....

Ellen says: Have you ever been disappointed by the way someone remembered your birthday or anniversary? Have you anticipated a special present for Christmas and then had to conceal your dissapointment when you open the box.

Disapointment that turns to resentment. "Why don't they care about me? Why aren't they more aware of my needs and preferences? Why won't they love me the way I want to be loved?"

They love you the only way they know how: their way. Are you able to recognize and accept other people's style of loving?

You can always try to teach people to love you in your style, but never expect anyone, no matter how close, to read your mind and heart. Tell them what you want. The investment you make in surprise is often a hidden expectation that brings disapointment.

Better yet, buy yourself your heart's desire. Don't turn special day into a test of love. Take care of yourself in the style you prefer--yours. Then, anything else you receive on that day will seem like extra love that you can enjoy with out hurtful expectations.