Rescuers

Ellen says: Some of us are rescuers by nature. We are always willing to try to help someone else, even if it is interferes with the enjoyment of our own lives. Sometimes our help may not be particularly useful, however.

If we are willing to accept the weight of other people's problem, maybe they aren't left with any reason to solve them themselves. It reminds me of a very big, awkward canvass ball that we used to exercise with in gym. Someone would throw it to us-OOOF-we would hold onto it, but we were supposed to try to throw it back.

What happen when we wake children up in the morning long after they are old enough to wake themselves? Or rescue them when they make mistakes, instead of helping them work out their own solutions? Or make explanation for a spouse who is always late or has some other problem. If we are tryng to carry the weight and responsibility, then they don't have to.

Throw the ball back. Offer them understanding, offer support, but give them the responsibility. Then they'll be motivated to try to make some choices to deal with their problems.