advice for getting through life’s ups and downs

Ellen Says: Don’t take out your problems on your partner. Life stresses can make us short tempered. If you are coping with a lot of stress, it might seem easier to vent with your partner, and even feel safer to snap at him or her. Fighting like this might initially feel like a release, but it slowly poisons your relationship.

Find other ways to vent your anger and frustration. Some problems are bigger than both of you. Trying to force a solution can cause even more problems. Every person works through problems and issues in his or her own way. Remember that you’re a team. Continuing to move forward together can get you through the rough spots.

Be open to change. Change is inevitable in life, and it will happen whether you go with it or fight it. Flexibility is essential to adapt to the change that is always taking place in any relationship, and it allows you to grow together through both the good times and the bad.

Expects up and down

Ellen Says: It’s also important to recognize that there are ups and downs in every relationship. You won’t always be on the same page. Sometimes one partner may be struggling with an issue that stresses them, such as the death of a close family member. Other events, like job loss or severe health problems, can affect both partners and make it difficult to relate to each other. You might have different ideas of managing finances or raising children. Different people cope with stress differently, and misunderstanding can rapidly turn to frustration and anger.

Healthy relationships are built on give and take

Ellen Says: If you expect to get what you want 100% of a time in a relationship, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Healthy relationships are built on compromise. However, it takes work on each person’s part to make sure that there is a reasonable exchange.

Knowing what is truly important to your partner can go a long way towards building goodwill and an atmosphere of compromise. On the flip side, it’s also important for your partner to recognize your wants and for you to state them clearly. Constantly giving to others at the expense of your own needs builds resentment and anger.

If you approach your partner with the attitude that things have to be your way or else, it will be difficult to reach a compromise. Sometimes this attitude comes from not having your needs met while younger, or it could be years of accumulated resentment in the relationship reaching a boiling point. It’s alright to have strong convictions about something, but your partner deserves to be heard as well. You are more likely to get your needs met if you respect what your partner needs, and compromise when you can.

Thank You Dad!

Ellen says:It was a pleasant surprise when my father brought me my favorite mangosteen. I do really appreciate his gesture of spending time to look for this fruit. Just recently, I mentioned him that, what I missed from my hometown is the mangosteen...I still remember the first time that I ate this fruit. Hmmmm! So delicious, mouth watering! No wonder even my son Rallione who is a picky when it comes to fruits, loved the taste of it.

love is in the air

Ellen says: I got an early overseas call from my husband, Rinzo, who is working abroad for about 7 months now.

How nice to have been awakened by a ring from a phone knowing that a call is coming from the one you love.

The first thing I heard on the other side of the line upon picking up the phone was the word " I love you. "

These three concise words, made me energized and re-charged. Of course, I really love this man so much, that is why I marred him. He always keeps me feel safe and secure knowing that I love him that much...

He is my inspiration and I seem not be able to continue living without him....hmmmm...love is in the air! I miss him so much.

I am missing the nuns!...

Dom says: I missed the sisters!....

Today is the first Sunday Mass that we held in our Abbey Church without the sisters of the Monastery of Our lady of The desert!.....

SInce I arrived in the monastery in February of year 2002, the sisters were with the community already during our Sunday Masses, Feast day celebrations, banquets, Ordination and other monastic celebrations in the community. ...Now that they are gone, we are left behind and alone in the Church in our celebration of the Offices and Masses...I missed them so much!...

take me with you...

Dom says: This song is for my best-friend Eileen...If you happen to open this blog, I just wanna let you know that my prayers are always with you and your one and only jewel, Mia, wherever you go:

WEAK IN THE KNEES
First time that I saw you
I tried so hard to ignore you
But that was not an easy thing I swear
The shady look, those misty eyes
That funny smile - hypnotized
(I) fell apart while you were standing there

Weak in the knees what do I do
My heart is thumpin' when I look at you
Weak in the knees afraid to say
Take me with you when you go away

It happened oh so suddenly
(A) feeling that came over me
I can't describe exactly what it was
The minute that you turned around
My thin world was upside down
I felt just like a high school girl in love

Weak in the knees what do I do
My heart is thumpin' when I look at you
Weak in the knees afraid to say
Take me with you when you go away

You brought me a chocolate ice cream cone
You asked if you could walk me home
We went for a ride and then
I knew I'd found a friend

Weak in the knees what do I do
My heart is thumpin' when I look at you
Weak in the knees afraid to say
Take me with you when you go away

friends who visit are blessings...

On March 14th,Thursday @ 2:45PM, DOm says: It's time to say goodbye!!!

These students from Duke University in North Carolina came to the monastery exactly five days ago with their chaperone and moderator Pastor Abby who'd been here last year to accompany a group of students from the same school.
These group of students who are with Abby now have stayed for a week to get immersed from the way of life of our community. As of this writing, they have already left with sadness in their hearts and will bring with them the good memories that they have encountered with their immersion, (the view, the silence, the food, the strange schedules of prayers, the monks. )

I was glad to have had a last minute talk with them at the giftshop minutes before they finally left the portals of the sanctuary this morning, especially Erinn and Adam who had been so nice and thoughtful to me all the days of their 5-day stay.

They also got a chance to have more pictorials with me at the giftshop just before they gave me their bearhugs and their goodbyes!!!!.....

how Valentine's Day became a holiday.

Just to give you a brief background: Valentine's Day is a Christian Festival commemorating the martyrdom of St. Valentine on February 14, 270.

St. Valentine was a third century priest who performed secret marriages because the Roman emporor thought more single men would enlist in the army than married men.

The first Valentine's Day was celebrated on February 14, 469 A.D.

By the 14th century its religious significance was overshadowed by non-religious customs that were associated with the events of the day.

The most plausible belief is the medieval European belief that birds begin to mate on February 14th. This suggested that boys and girls should choose lovebirds as their exchange gifts on February 14th.

Today, celebrating Valentine's Day is more associated with common non-religious affairs of couples, sweethearts and lovers. These consist of going on a dinner date, a whole-day family picnic, a couple's hideaway in a cool cozy cabin or lakehouse, and a mall stroll with loved ones.

I am celebrating this year's Valentine's Day with a fostered family in TONDO's slum area.

Happy Valentine to you beloved friends!