Don't keep a secret from your family

Ellen says: Sometimes when we think about trying to change our lives or improves ourselves in some ways, we imagine that the safest way is to do it in secret. We'll just set out to change ourselves, then announce what we've accomplished when it's over. This idea is appealing because it reduces our senseof risk. If we don't tell anyone what we're tryingto do, then we do not have to deal with others seeing our failure if we are unsuccessful. The problem with this reasoning is that by keeping efforts a secret to protects ourselves from failure, we make it more likely we will fail. Be honest with your family when you are pursuing change. Their support and attention will help keep your focus on what you want.

I had been overweight for a number of years but I didn't take take the situation seriously until I felt my health was at risk. I didn't want to say anything to Rinzo, my husband and my kids because I felt like telling them what I wanted to, would jinx me. I was afraid saying I was trying to lose weight would be just another promise you make and never follow through on.

I began by trying to limit my portion and to gradually improve my family menus to include more healthy selections. Then I started taking walks around the neighborhood when I got up in the morning.

At that point, I finally realized how silly my plan was. I was going out walking--a perfectly good thing to be doing-- and instead of sharing my time with my family I was sneaking around as if I was up to something. So then I confessed that my eating and walking are part of a bigger commitment to lose weight and feel better. My family suspected as much. They have figured it out , but did'nt want to say anything because I hadn't say anything.

When my plans finally out in the open, everything was easier. It is so much nicer to be able to lean on them for support because they know exactly what I am doing, and they want to help me in the way they can.